For the last four years or so--ever since I began contemplating where I'd like to go to college and, by extension, what I'd like to do with my life--I've been struggling to find just the right balance for my interests, passions, and skills. I am so blessed to have family, friends, and teachers who have supported me every step of the way as I have worked through these questions. It has meant tricky decisions and some reconsidering of those decisions.
A couple of weeks ago, I found myself asking these questions again, and seriously. You see, I have loved being a voice major. Singing is something I really enjoy and care about for many reasons. Yet increasingly, I have found myself moving in a different direction career-wise, and one dramatic Sunday evening, I decided to switch majors. Last year I was a music major and English minor; now I am an English major and music minor.
To many of you this may not seem like the very biggest of deals, but for me it was a big step. For me it meant choosing to switch things, reinvent my schedule, and rework my image for how my time in college would go. It wasn't easy. And for me this decision meant having confidence in this quiet yet very strong internal voice that was pushing me to take confidence in my growth and dreams. Now I am going joyously toward my starry eyed dreams of a future in the fiber arts. I can't wait to watch the unfoldment of all they and I may have to offer each other.
I am sharing this with you all firstly to let you know my increasing commitment to the fiber arts and the handmade movement and so forth, but also to encourage you to trust that inner voice. I'm sorry, it sounds lame, and it's pretty easy not to take it seriously because you've heard it so much. I never listen when I hear things like that. But if you really listen deep, what do you hear? What is it that you keep thinking about wanting to be or do?
That Sunday evening I had several big talks with people who are important to me. My mom shared something so helpful with me from a book she once read. In a situation where you aren't entirely happy, you have two options: you can stay and maintain the status quo OR you can get up and leave and go where you'd rather be. Either way, you pay a price: the price of your discontent in the restless situation or the price of breaking out of the box. Sometimes, it may be best to stay in the imperfect situation. But don't forget that on the other side of the box, once you've paid the price of change, you might find a glorious freedom and more complete joy.
I invite you to join me. Sometime over the next couple days, go off somewhere alone. Get really quiet inside and then see where your heart is yearning to go. If you choose to listen to your heart and follow where it leads you, you might need to be brave and strong for a while. But ultimately, you may find that your life changes for the better.